"the Quintuplapus pt1"

1 One day, a plain ordinary talking octopus was having a seemingly ordinary day, with his good friend the local manatee. Bernie was given his name to him by a girl named Suzin, who received his ownership, as a birthday present, from her social-politically correct, hippie parents, who decided to do something good for the environment, that none of them would ever personally need to have anything to do with. The two sea creatures were playing a game they developed called parasite ride. The game consisted of the octopus clinging on to Bearnie, so that he could experience the life of a manatee first hand.

2 The life of a manatee is rich but short lived. Because in being a sea baring mammal, oc- casionally he would need to come up for air, and because of its slow speed it can't swim very deep or it will suffocate. On many occasions they have been considered the cow of the sea, but in this situation Bearnie acted as the sterotype of a boat speed bump. The boat half keelhauled the pair before the fishermen noticed the difference in the angle of the ship. Kenny the fisherman grabbed the life saver and threw it down to the pair. The octopus lost one of his tenticles but Bearnie didn't make it. The intensity of the head trama and what had happened left the octopus unconscious, but he felt that he knew of what had just occurred.

3 "Bearnie is dead, there was a lot of blood. Where should I go from here? I don't want to swim in that mess. I am all alone now. I feel of less than I have ever before. I can't go back to sea. I only can go forward. I need to show Bearnie, that I will find more of this world than it has allowed." His tentacles stung and his heart shook with loss and an overwhelming sense of being. "Are you all right?" The two fishermen stood over him shaking him back in to a gen- eral reality shared by all of them. "I will be fine I think. Just if you may, take me to the land." The seven legged octopus said looking towards a new land with new inhabitants, new experiences, and new pos- sibilities.

4 "Go and may the force be with you." Kenny smiled at our hero as he stepped off the boat. "What's next?" The septapus asked himself as he stepped on land for the first time. The air was lighter than water, but he moved slowly deep in though, and pulled down by the opressive force of gravity. "I felt like so much more of an octopus, only a little while ago. I need to find where i am, and where I'm going. There must be more to this world for me. With this new land, I will find it, but where to start?" His mind began to feel fluttery and too full of new ideas and questions of this place. "Well here is as good a place as anywhere." He sat and waited pondering, by a sign advertising the consept of public transportation.

5 The bus took too long to show and waiting led itself to thinking and thinking was not his leisure. "It has been a long day already," he staired towards the sky in awe over what has happened "and many bad things happened to me. To make two friends in a fatal accident dosent make up for the one i've lost." He pulled at sign relesing it to watch it vi- brate in the daylight sun. "And what of this land thing. My tenticels are stuck to it. I can't swim up any further, maybe this is as high as it goes or perhaps I have just always been in the middle and its all relitive. Or maybe the top is the bottom, the outside is the inside, the middle the crust and all of everything overlaps itself in some quantem infinate reality." This was all very confus- ing to him and caused a terrible headach . "At least, this section of quantem reality has public transportation. I don't even need to walk to get places because of this wonderfull idea it must truly save the common man time agrivation and effort." At that time it arrived.

6 Pain shot from his tentacle to his brain and back to his tentacle and this was not like last time. Last time he was unconscious. The septapus decieded he had to do something. He could not last any longer in this situation. He pulled at his tentacle but it did no good against the weight of the bus. He decided it was his only option to ask the man inside this machine if he had any idea how to move this automotive monstrosity from his tentacle. "What In the shit are you?" The driver looked on discusted at our trapped horrified hero.

7 "No change no ride!" The bus driver screamed unknowing of the situation at hand. Only realizing the severity of someone breaking the rules that have been put forth to him. "But it didn't say that on the sign." Our hero mumbled choking on his urges to scream. Trapped to the concrete by his tentacle under the weight of a bus, the exoctopus fidg- eted at the controls, hoping to move this large heavy thing crushing his appendage, but he only managed to close the door on it, before getting himself ejected by a bus driver ranting about freeloaders.

8 "Lousy money grubbing bastards. God, only let me see him again. I'll give him a little more than 75 cents." The pain subsided to an overwhelming, immeasurable amount of anger. "Maybe this land business want such a good idea, if its filled with people like that douche. I would rather be eaten alive at sea than pay that yuppie a nickel." His mind turned to breaking things, and destroying property. Then he imagined himself waiting at the stop for the bus driver to get back so he could throw his severd tentacle on to the bus. "That would show him something." He laughed to himself, not a healthy chuckle but a strung out insane laugh in which he immediately stopped. "I'm hungry." He thought to himself tasting the blood left on one of his active ten- tacles, realizing a new visitor invading the personal space of his shattered limb. The creature at hand was small, black, and appeared to be biting at his fallen extremity.

9 "Who are you and what are you doing with my tentacle?" The sextapus looked on in awe at the audacity of this new comer. "Well, I am an ant, and with your tenta- cle I'm leaving a trail of chemicals so the other ants can come and help me carry this back to the nest for the feast. We need to feed the queen and her armies." The ant finished and at this the owner of there late lunch decided, that It's about smashy time, when he noticed something new about both the ant and himself.

10 "You have six legs. I have six legs too. We must be the same." The prospects of being an ant excited him and he smiled for the first time in a long time. On the same note the pros- pects of a giant ant excited the ant who decided to use this opportunity to its full potential. "Sure, you can be an ant. Its pretty easy actually. We work as a team to get things done, like laundry if we did that." The ant looked up at the pledge and smiled, thanking his existence ants don't do laundry. "So, when do we start? Do I get an outfit, or maybe a hat? How long will my training take? I'm so excited! Do you think I'm ready?" His excitement led to nervousness, but at least he felt more comfortable now than he did before. He had found his calling leaving his identity as an octopus to now become a six legged ant. "Lets not get too ahead of ourselves here. There is no train- ing, outfit, or hat. You were ready since the day you were born. All we have to do now is introduce you to the rest of the guys and the queen. She is more beautiful than the sun rise and as wise as the physicist of time." The ant gazed off in to space, as the giant ant checked to see what it was he was looking at. "Well I am very excited to meet her. This sounds great!" As he said this the army arrived in such a number that both surprised him and sent shivers down his nervous system .

11 "Hooray for the new ant!" The ants welcomed him in full force flailing there arms, and thanking him for the blessing that will become their dinner. "I would just like to thank you guys for making me feel like I wasn't wasting my time with this whole land thing. It's good to feel like I'm part of something again. Well besides for the food chain." An ants life felt good to him. He finally found his nitch. "Yes, all is good. Follow us friend to our castle, the queen waits for your attendance. She hold much wisdom that she cares to give you." On that the ants made there way to the hill that was there castle.

12 "Well good sir ant, welcome to our colony. My people have spoke of you in very high regard." The queen had a peaceful kindly tone in her voice, one of an authority who rarely used her power to its full potential. "Yes i have come very far to this point, and they have treated me very kindly. I'm just glad to have a place to fit in." He bowed. "For you I will do all in my powers" "You are a very brave ant, and as far as we are concerned you are one. One matter remains a concern to me. You my friend are far too gargantuan to fit in our humble ant hill. You must set forth to find a home for yourself as a respect- able ant. Take one of my citizens with you, as he might offer a few ideas for your dormitory." Given his task, he bowed to his queen and went on his way.

13 "So what do you think?" The ant smiled past the past Octopus beginning his ascent without answer. The sextapus followed the ant, who felt very much in charge at the moment, leading a creature that could crush him in a heart beat, up a tree perpen- dicular to the ground. Climbing was a new experience for our hero and it made itself out to be some work, due to the fact the life of an octopus is much more based swimming opposed to scaling tall objects, in a new gravity that he was still not completely used to.

14 The present owner of the tree was far more that happy to welcome its uninvited dinner guests. Because for the bird it was dinner time and the ant came with free delivery and was not even expecting a tip. In a quarter second the bird snaped down and had the ant in its beak, baring down on its midsection. This bird disrespect for his ant brother, the giant ant could not stand for. Upon Finishing his climb he drewin with all his power he hit the bird towards the stratusphere.

15 Unfortunately upon doing so he lost his already unsteady balance and plummeted to the ground much quicker than he man- aged to climb up. "That flapping bastard! I'm guessing they aren't coming back. That flapping two bit ass spelunking bastard. I want my guide back. I hope the queen wont be mad at me. I didn't want to screw it up already, and It's my fault he got eaten. It should have been me in that birds beak not him. I'm sure he would have done the same for me that is what brothers are for. God I wish i went first, and now that ground is coming fast and it looks pissed." The fact of the matter is that he was screwed and it wasn’t the ground com- ing at him, it was him falling towards the ground. The nearby ants shuttered as they saw their new friend and his face plant.

16 "We have to do something." The ants fell on him like rain only managing to move small parts of his body before he began to stir and regain consciousness. From his lowered angle the ants looked huge and startled him into something that closer that resembled reality. He was taken to the queen who stood waiting for him worried, on top of the hill. "I have failed my queen. Not only that but i have lost the guide you have given me." He felt less than dirt and stood and waiting for the consequences. "You have not failed. You have just found yourself somewhere that is not for you. You might not know it but you are more than an ant you are smooth- ing different, something won- derful and we will find you a place for you." She smiled, spreding her wings glistening in the sun, bent her knees and flew off into the distance.

17 But the distance she flew was short. She made it 15 yards before she found herself caught in a tree of her own. Inhabited by a massive hungry spider. Days before the spider laid traps for just such an occasion spinning his webs, and counting his chickens. The queens movement triggered the spider in to action. The queen screamed as it fell on her as she struggilled against the web. "Save our queen." The ants screamed in horror at the vicious sight before them. The giant ant starred at the scene for a moment before beginning his assent. The severity of the sitution drove him to climb faster than any normal man. He climbed more of a monkey than a past octopus.

18 By the time he reached her the spider was on her and already beginning his cocoon of death. For the spider this was one meal that he will neaver get to enjoy. He had angered a beast hundreds of times his size. The giant ant sighed at the loss of his queen and decided for this spider it was smashy time.

19 "There is a cave." The queen muttered as he placed her on the ground amungst her people. "It is not more than a stones through away. You must find where you are ,and where you are going, and to do this you must go on your own. I give you my blessings, in hope of a better life than that you could possible imagine. Many ants began to weep as she faded from them. "Thank you for bringing our queen back to us." An ant put his hand on the tentacle of the creature that was once an ant, and bowed. Without a word the oceans refugee returned the sentiment and set off.

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21 The cave was dark, too dark for all practice purposes, and the sextapus felt reluctant to venture into such depth without a measure. The queen seemed to think it was a good idea. "She was a wise lady, I owe her, thank god neither her or the ants blamed me for her death." He looked at the sun for the last time that day and entered the abyss. Upon entering it was even darker than the expected but not as dark as his feelings at this point. "How could so many bad things happen to one creature in one day. Is it such a dark reality we live in" He felt sorry for his self and for everyone else that has ever been is such a morbid disposition. "Nothing is right, nothing is holy, our god is either a sham or an evil, sado massicistic, omnipotent creature, the demented leader of a morbid shatterproof reality." He continued to walk deeper and deeper thinking untill he found whatever it was he was that was next.

22 The sextapus stumbled and rolled down a hill paved with pointed rocks only to have his fall stopped by a large fuzzy object. "At least there is a pillow in here."He said to himself before realizing that the pillow was moving at probably about eight feet tall. The bear was not happy about his disturbed slumber or the intruders unlawful trespass- ing. The sextapus made for the door but was pinned down again by his tentacle. He tugged with all his might struggiling to escape the will of the bear. With a snap from his tenticle he was free, off for exit with pain shooting behind him like the fire trail from a rocket. Maniging to escape with his life was a success but it was night fall and he still had no where to rest.

23 It was a cold night that night and he was running out of energy to go on. He walked alone starving and exhausted looking towards the stars for answers. He had no friends, no home and only 5 tentacles. "I should have thought about this land thing, before I made such a hasty decision. "He wandered in to a recessed ally, found himself a dry cardboard box, climbed inside, curled up, and went to sleep.